Don't look back, look inside!

My, what a year it’s been. I’m currently sandwiched between Christmas 2009 and the 2010 New Year – and taking a break from my sprout and cranberry bubble-and-squeak to write a few notes for The Fonecast’s first podcast of 2010. Next week we’ll be looking back at 2009, turning our backs on Swine Flu and President Obama’s election in favour of the iPhone 3GS, Avenir Telecom and Digital Britain.

As part of my research I’ve browsed through Google Zeitgeist – its spirit of 2009 summary – for a little inspiration. And you know what? The UK mobile industry doesn’t play much of a part in it. Oh, sure, there’s a lot of online stuff and that inevitable bleed-through into the mobile internet… but we’re not really all that big. Lady Gaga, cheap flights, Facebook; they matter to the people of the UK. Mobile phones? Not important.

And for a moment I was taken back to my school days and a lesson from our Religious Studies teacher. One day he talked on the subject of “No-one believes in their own immortality”. He said we could easily imagine a world without other people – but not without ourselves. I remember it as being a very effective lesson. At this point we’d not read Freud’s thoughts on the subject. I still haven’t.

Anyway, it brought me back to a topic that I’ve touched on a couple of times this year. We in the mobile phone business really shouldn’t be so full of ourselves (if, of course, we are). Things that we think of as enormously big deals don’t carry the same weight for other people. No-one outside our little bubble world cares about the merger of Orange and T-Mobile. Not really.

Which means we 'mobile people' probably need to spend more time in 2010 explaining why these things are important. And perhaps, just perhaps, we need to get a little perspective, too!

The rabbi, the comic and the poet

I've had a good year for live entertainment. A few weeks ago I went to see An Audience with Rabbi Lionel Blue. It was the last part of what I thought of as my "carpe diem" 2009 tour. You see, I'd nearly booked tickets to see Chas & Dave - but didn't. Next thing I know, they're not performing together. I didn't want the same sort of thing to happen again, which is why I've been to see John Cooper Clarke, Simon Amstell and Rabbi Blue this year.

And you know what? All three shows were pretty similar (in a good way, naturally). Any one could have been prefixed by "A conversation with..." - but I reckon the rabbi told the most jokes. After suggesting that problems were also opportunities, he went on to explain that his health was presenting him with plenty of opportunities at the moment. (May he live to 120). My favourite joke involved the mohel - but he tells it much better than I could, so I won't. Sadly there wasn't time for me to meet him after the show, although he was happy to wait.

John Cooper Clarke - who, like Rabbi Blue, doesn't seem to be planning retirement - also kept the audience entertained with jokes and conversation between his poems. And Simon Amstell's entire act was very much like a conversation with the audience.

Which is how I like my stage shows. If I wanted something two-dimensional, I'd have watched them on TV. If I wanted to drift off into my own thoughts, I'd have read a book. Instead - and in all three cases - I left feeling that we'd had a bit of a chat and the world was a better place. If only they'd consider touring together.

Xbox 360 vs PS3... by a man who knows nothing about gaming

I’m not much of a gamer. I don’t have a games console. But my girlfriend’s son does. In fact, since yesterday, he’s had two.

He’s been a PlayStation fan for years, having upgraded from the PS2 to the PS3. I like the PS3. I like the amount of technology that Sony has squeezed inside, including WiFi and a Blu-Ray DVD player. And I like the games. In fact, I grew quite attached to Resistance: Fall of Man and its story (to say nothing of the multiplayer shoot-people-from-around-the-world mode).

Anyway, there’s now an Xbox 360 in the house as well. Playing Halo 3 on a friend’s Xbox convinced our PS3 fan that he’d also like an Xbox.

My first impressions weren’t good. Unlike the PS3, the Xbox 360 doesn’t have built-in WiFi. So that’s an extra £50 for an adaptor. Then I noticed that the controllers don’t come with rechargeable batteries – unlike the PS3. And, perhaps the worst difference, the Xbox wants you to pay for online gaming against other people – again, unlike the PS3.

Installing the wireless adaptor wasn’t straightforward. Plug and play? Not a chance. Instead, we realised that you needed to run an installation CD with drivers on it. Now, it may be because we plugged in the adaptor first – or it may have been a different problem – but we couldn’t get the Xbox to read the CD. Mixed Media Disc, it told us. That’s all. A flashing green light on the adapter told us it was looking for a network… but nothing more. There wasn’t a wireless option in the console’s network settings.

So we went online. “Turn on your Xbox 360 console and then insert the installation disc”, said Microsoft. “Turn off your Xbox 360 console by pressing the power button. Then, turn on the console. The update process should start automatically. If the update does not start automatically, you already have the correct drivers. In this case, you do not have to take any additional action.”

Wrong.

We then found that other people had also had problems, which wasn’t particularly reassuring.

Anyway, we eventually solved the problem by changing the console startup settings to boot from the disc. (We’d also cleared the memory cache but I don’t think that had made a difference).

Having finally got the machine online and registered for a month’s free Xbox Live Gold membership, it was time to play Halo 3. You know what? It’s a lot like Resistance: Fall of Man. Perhaps I’m naïve but I was surprised at just how alike they were. Which also means I’m looking forward to it.

The trains looks so beautiful in the snow

Yesterday morning I received a promotional email from Southern Railways.

"Ho ho ho Amigo!", it said. "Merry Happy Christmas! I so excited! I never see the snow before. The trains will look so beautiful. And Southern trains give you so many great Christmas offers, like off-peak tickets for only half price but only to Christmas."

That, by the way, is the voice of Loco Toledo, the fictional Mexican wrestler promoting rail travel.

I wondered whether talking about trains looking beautiful in the snow was such a good idea, given that heavy snow was forecast for the south of England later in the day. Beautiful, possibly. Moving, possibly not.

Sure enough, this morning there are cancellations, short notice alterations and delays... along with Loco's recommendation that Santa should take the train (even though Christmas Eve services start closing from 8pm). All of this hasn't really been thought through, has it?