Copywriting mercenary for hire

Hi, I’m freelance copywriter Mark Bridge. You may know me from such classics as “Digital music… it’s nothing to be afraid of!”, “Photography on your mobile”, “April Dealer Bulletin”, “The Buyers’ Guide”, “Business Plan version 2”, “Revised microsite” and the all-time favourite “Security Network Manager”.

Actually, no, you won’t. You may have read them but they won’t have had my name on them. In fact, at least one of those was credited to the authorship of a cartoon character. Such is the anonymous life of the freelance.

Truth be told, I’m even reluctant to use the word ‘freelance’. I prefer free agent, as suggested by Daniel Pink. Freelance and mercenary are pretty much interchangeable. And ‘copywriting mercenary’ isn’t necessarily what you’d expect on a business card. Although I might give it a go.

So how does a free agent copywriter promote himself?

Spam email from David Cameron?

The least-plausible email I've ever received:


Our ref: ATM MasterCard/5404/IDR
Your ref:...Date: 12/02/2011

IMMEDIATE PAYMENT NOTIFICATION

I am The Rt Hon David Cameron MP,Prime Minister, First Lord of the Treasury and Minister for the Civil Service British Government. This letter is to officially inform you that (MasterCard Number 5404 5000 0041 0640) has been accredited with your favour. Your Personal Identification Number is 4724.The MasterCard Value is £2,000,000.00(Two Million, Great British Pounds Sterling).

This office will send to you an ATM MasterCard that you will use to withdraw your funds in any ATM MACHINE CENTER or MasterCard outlet in the world with a maximum of £5000 GBP daily.Further more,You will be required to re-confirm the following information to enable;The Rt Hon William Hague MP First Secretary of State for British Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs.
begin in processing of your MasterCard.

(1)Full names: (2)Address: (3)Country: (4)Nationality: (5)Phone #: (6)Age:
(7)Occupation: (8) Post Codes

Rt Hon William Hague MP. First Secretary of State for British Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs Email; bfca@ globomail.com
Tel: Tel: +44-7466-712-795

TAKE NOTICE: That you are warned to stop further communications with any other person(s) or office(s) different from the staff of the State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs to avoid hitches in receiving your payment.

Regards,

Rt Hon David Cameron MP
Prime Minister

Food cats would naturally choose

"Food cats would naturally choose" says the box. The picture shows carrots. Now, I'm no animal nutritionist, but isn't that rabbits you're thinking of?

The Year of the Rabbit has arrived!

Year of the Rabbit from Frater on Vimeo.

In control of the trains - but not the timetables

"We are sorry that train departure information is currently unavailable on this display... we are working with our supplier to resolve this"

Funny old world, innit?

Phishing spelling

Phishing - sending spam emails in the hope a hapless recipient will respond with their online bank details - is spelled with a ph because... er... well, anyway, it is.

Today I've received yet another.

This one tells me "We detected irregular activity on your HSBC Internet banking account on 11/01/2011."

Very irregular, because I don't have one of those. But I digress.

The penultimate line reads "We ask that you allow at least 72 hours for the case to be investigated and we strongly recommend to verefy (sic) your account in that time."

Yes, the sender put the 'sic' there themselves.

Hello, 2011

I've started 2011 by finishing 'Replay' by Ken Grimwood. It almost seems to replace the need for resolutions.