Thursday, 13 September 2012

The iPhone is still as anti-social as ever

I'm sitting on a train listening to the music leaking from another passenger's headphones. He's got an iPhone, although it could just as easily be one of many other smartphones.

Actually, I'm going to take that back. He's got an iPhone 4S and he's using the Apple earphones that came with the device. They're open-backed. Designed to leak sound. Designed to offer a premium experience for the consumer while annoying the heck out of everyone else.

Yesterday the iPhone 5 was announced. A new device with new headphones.

The new iPhone 5 is supplied with 'EarPods'; updated earbud-type headphones that promise enhanced audio quality when compared with the previous design. Yet these earbuds are still open.

Apple says "Adding to the superior audio quality are strategically placed acoustic vents. The most notable of these vents is the one located in the stem of each EarPod. It allows air inside the stem, which acts as an acoustic chamber, to flow out."

They may well "rival high-end headphones that cost hundreds of pounds more". But that doesn't make them any more sociable. And that's an opportunity missed.

Friday, 31 August 2012

Eurostar from Paris

That's the thing about travelling on a train: you can't focus on the detail and the bigger picture when you look out the window. Turn your head quickly enough and you've captured a moment while the landscape flies by. Focus on the middle-distance and the foreground is a blur. This is undoubtedly a metaphor for something. The fact that I don't know what it's a metaphor for is probably also a metaphor. Or a sign of trying too hard.

Friday, 27 July 2012

Who's up for a spot of sponsor bingo during the Olympics opening ceremony?

In a blog post dated tomorrow (oops), Samsung has confirmed that its Galaxy Note and Galaxy SIII mobile phones have a role in the opening ceremony for the London 2012 Olympic Games.

With the BBC already having made the most of its ‘official broadcaster’ status by apparently adding a few BBC-contracted celebrity runners during the torch relay, I was wondering whether any of the other sponsors will also be making an opening-night appearance. McDonalds?  Coca Cola?  I reckon we’ll probably be able to spot quite a few of the Olympic Partners throughout the event.

An event that I’m very much looking forward to watching on TV, in case you wondered.

Wednesday, 18 July 2012

I want a pick-up truck. This proves I'm a copywriter.

Earlier this month I was driving a pick-up truck. A Ford Ranger, since you ask. Powerful, comfortable and all the other things you’d hope a 2012 commercial vehicle would be. Probably reasonably economical as well, although I didn’t really check because I wasn’t paying for the diesel.

Anyway, it did its job even better than I’d expected. And when I’d finished with it, I parked it outside the farm office, handed the keys back... and wished I had my own pick-up truck.

This, I fear, is a symptom of being a copywriter. Understanding and appreciating benefits. Not just from my own perspective but from the viewpoint of other people. A pick-up truck is designed primarily to carry a variety of loads but I can also visualise its practicality as a family car. A taxi. A towing vehicle. A statement of personal style.

Okay, it’s not for everyone but then neither is an iPhone or a McDonald’s burger.

Why don’t I have a pick-up truck today?  Because I’m not working for Ford, Toyota, Mitsubishi or any other maker of utility vehicles at the moment. And that means I can also sell myself the benefits of NOT having a pick-up truck.

Right now, I’m convincing myself about the benefits of catching the bus.


Friday, 6 July 2012

East of Earwig: not the hyperbolic ramblings of an anti-Lewes troll

Look, I have a confession to make. I'm not like the rest of you. I'm from the wrong side of town. In fact, I'm not from town at all. I live three miles north-east in the village of Ringmer, where only the bravest of bus drivers venture.

Here's another confession. I like it here. And I don't want to join you down there on the flood plain, thank you all the same.

Now, this is probably the point where you dismiss my introduction as the hyperbolic ramblings of an anti-Lewes troll. But you're wrong.

You see, I have a theory. Here it is.

Bridge's Lewesian theory: all the good bits of Lewes are available to me without living there.
It has a companion theory that goes like this: all the bad bits of Lewes are only really suffered by people who live there.

Let me demonstrate with the following example. Harveys beer. Wonderful stuff. But I don't need to stand by the Argos car park to enjoy a pint in the sun. I can walk to The Anchor in Ringmer and sit in the garden. (Heck, I can cross the road with my pint and watch cricket on the green as long as I take the glass back and no-one ever finds out).

Fair enough, you may say, but what about Bill's cafe? Well, my Lewes friend, there's no priority queue for residents. Waving your council tax bill doesn't get you a table any quicker. You locals suffer the gastro-tourists, I walk in for a sausage sandwich and a coffee when they've gone. Besides, given the company's recent expansion, I reckon there'll be a Ringmer branch of Bill's by 2014. (Not that we desperately need one, for we have the Jack & Jill bakery: home of the Jack & Jill bun - fruit, icing and jam combined. You won't find that in the Collison collection).

May I also point out that parking's free in Ringmer and our house prices are more affordable than yours?

People of Lewes, escape those knee-trembling hills and head for the countryside. You know it makes sense.

Just don’t come looking for me when you arrive here. You'll probably find me in Laporte's - or in Steamer Trading - or Octave music - or perhaps even visiting an estate agent. Being from the wrong side of town doesn't mean I don't have aspirations.

First published on vivalewes.com 5th July 2012: http://vivalewes.com/east_of_earwig/
All 'East of Earwig' articles will be archived at http://eastofearwig.blogspot.co.uk/ 

Friday, 15 June 2012

Man issues press release after witnessing news event

  • Shameless attempt to gain publicity
  • No direct connection with the event
  • Does a quick survey

BRIGHTON, UK, 15th June 2012

Following a news event somewhere in the world that gained a considerable amount of media attention in the tabloid press, a survey by internationally-acclaimed copywriter Mark Bridge has revealed that around 50% of people agreed with what happened. Astonishingly, a further 50% disagreed.

The incident didn’t really have anything to do with Mr Bridge or the people he interviewed. Nevertheless, he formed an opinion and later asked others what they thought. Many people sympathised with the subject of the news story – possibly an elderly woman whose fence had fallen down, a young mother whose child doesn’t like strawberries, an orphaned ducking or the relative of a Big Brother contestant. Others didn't.

Mark Bridge, who conducted the survey for no reason except to publicise himself, said “The news is full of things that happen. Some are often referred to as ‘good news’. Others are ‘bad news’. By picking one of these events and talking about it, I’ve gained valuable publicity.”

He added “I’ll now say something with a tenuous link between the news event and the services offered by my business. It doesn't really make sense but I'm hoping you won't notice.”

-----ENDS-----

About Mark Bridge
Mark Bridge is a copywriter who also produces and co-presents a weekly podcast for the mobile phone industry. He receives too many press releases that don't say anything important.

Friday, 4 May 2012

Getting Entrepreneurial About Journalism

There comes a time when you need to feel the fear and do it anyway. When you want to change your life in seven days. When you stop hoping a few affiliate links will generate any revenue and decide to actually do something instead.

By you, I mean me, of course.

And so with a spring in my step and a childlike delight at catching the train to London, I set off yesterday to hear Milo Yiannopoulos talk on the subject of Getting Entrepreneurial About Journalism.

“Sassy and enthusiastic young writers are quietly earning a living by supplementing their expertise with events and consulting services and by building their reputations as connectors and pundits.”

Hey, that could be me. Enthusiastic, if not sassy.

“There are more opportunities for enterprising writers to make their name and make a living than ever before.”

Excellent news. The making of my name and my living will start anew.

The event promised that Milo Yiannopoulos would share his experiences setting up technology publication The Kernel, explaining what has worked and what hasn’t.

Indeed he did.

He started the evening at London’s General Assembly by telling the two or three dozen of us there that he’d talk about his experiences with The Kernel (which launched slightly less than five months ago and has been a financial success) and would then move on to the ‘future of content’ - what people pay for.

It is a myth, Milo said, that writing is profitable. After the pamphleteers of the early 18th century, journalism has been subsidised by advertising and supported by patrons.

Today, he said, the patronage model is becoming relevant again - thanks to paying customers, not rich benefactors.
Quite simply, you need to create content that people like and will pay for.
A moment of joyous hyperbole (it was hyperbole, wasn’t it?) saw Copyblogger’s business model described as “immoral” as Milo offered his own perspective on writing for profit.

Again, it’s simple. You need content that will do one (or both) of two things.
You need to educate, to address controversy, to introduce something new... to make people gasp.
And you need to make people laugh, because fundamentally we’re all miserable.
The Daily Mail was offered as an example of a publication that was getting some things right; addressing vulnerabilities and lifting people up to give a vision of ‘better’.

But ultimately there’s no money in ‘reporting’, Milo said. People put money behind individuals, not brands. Which means, when you’re writing editorial, you need to ask yourself “What can I do that nobody else can do?”

It seems the secret to making money from content isn’t a secret.
Make people gasp. Make people laugh. And do it in a unique way.
We gasped. We laughed. We went home.

Since last night I’ve seen a little online chatter about the event, with some people relatively happy and others less so.

Did the event deliver what it promised?  Well, despite the title, all it ever promised was Milo’s experiences in setting up The Kernel. So yes, I’d argue it did.

Did it deliver all the title suggested?   In an object lesson, you might say. To get entrepreneurial about journalism, you talk about your unique personal experience, you inform your audience, you entertain your audience... and you charge them £20 a head.


UPDATE: I receive an email on Friday afternoon.

Hey Everyone, Thank you for attending last night's Getting Entrepreneurial About Journalism class with Milo Yiannopoulos. GA education is about delivering high quality, practical, and actionable insights from top practitioners in the field. Last night's course did not meet the high standards that we set for ourselves and that you should expect from us. We have gone ahead and refunded your money and we hope that you'll accept our sincerest apologies. Our Education Team works hard to keep these slip-ups rare, and we hope you'll come check out another class soon.